BasementOOC Archive

Basement OOC is like Bob "The Beast" Sapp, but better.

Thesis: Delightful

Ariel: I've been so completely desensitized to this shit, that I actually sort of find it delightful
Ariel: Charming and quaint, really

Thesis, part 2: Porn and Angst

Tindy: …it made sense with more porn and angst.
Bobby_Briggs: everything makes sense with more porn and angst, though.

Thesis, part 3: It Is An Option

Michael Ian Black: I think we're all just really comfortable with each other to the point where butt fucking is an option.
Michael Showalter: But it doesn't have to mean anything.
MIB: No, and incidentally it's not the first option.
David Wain: When people make films that don't have sodomy, they're lying to themselves.
MS: I wouldn't necessarily agree with that.
MIB: Like I personally, I am not interested—personally I am very straight—but the character of Michael Ian Black sometimes will suck a dildo. But I have to distinguish between my personal self and my public persona.
MS: The character of Michael Ian Black.
MIB: My character will take it up the ass, and does a lot.
DW: Very often I have to say, "Who am I talking to right now, Michael or Michael?"
MIB: But I'm a method actor so sometimes I lose myself in my character.

Thesis, part 4: A Better World

"Caught between a conversation about the 83-corpse felinecrophilia marathon and scatalogical social elevation at a musical venue, we begin to imagine that there is a better world out there — and it is an all-consuming ball of fire."
-Mozam, on DinoMUSH

Thesis, part 5: Hideous Sexual Oneupmanship

"I often wonder if the regulars in this place are engaged in some unspoken, cutthroat game of hideous sexual oneupmanship." - Julius Belmont

Feature Presentation

Do NOT google Doug Winger

<Tod> Doug Winger is hilarious!
<NormanOsborn> Google Imageseach it.
<key_to_me> NO DON'T
<NormanOsborn> YES LET HER KNOW
<key_to_me> FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS GOOD AND HOLY /DO NOT GOOGLE "DOUG WINGER"/
<Kirin> XD YES GOOGLE DOUG WINGER AND ADD WAITA UZIGA TOO
<Kirin> I WANT TO CRUSH YOUR SOOOOOOOOOOOULS
<key_to_me> hell, throw Po-Ju in there while you're at it
<Stephen_Strange> for the love of all that is good and holy, don't go near the words 'doug' and 'winger' when they are together.
<Willow_Kitten> DO NOT GOOGLE WINGER!
<Stephen_Strange> when you see the baron remember the tooth.
<Stephen_Strange> the tooth.
<Ariel> TOO LATE
<Willow_Kitten> If you love your eyes and brain at all.
<Stephen_Strange> theee tooooooth
<Ariel> I JUST SUMMONED THE ANTICHRIST IN MY COMPUTER ROOM

Vampire: the Wangstening (new and improved!!)

<Jillian> They need to work on their naming. The new name for werewolves sounds like a cat hacking up a hairball.
<Karra> What is the new name for werewolves?
<Jillian> Uratha
<Karra> …that sounds like some sort of bodily organ.
<Jillian> … Urethra?
<Stephen_Strange> yeah, it's a slant-rhyme, is urathra.
<Karra> HA. Yes. It sounds like that.
<takhys> Werewolf: The Excretory System.

Moi-stur-ize?

<kymscrazy> Wouldn't have happened. She's having an anti-stair day and the other bathroom is on the second floor.
<Slarti> She's a Dalek?
<kymscrazy> :P No.
<Slarti> Aw. 'Cause that'd be wicked cool.
<Slarti> Or doom for humanity.
<Slarti> Y'know, whichever.

YAHTZEE!!

<key_to_me> My sister was having sex with her English boyfriend and upon orgasm instead of screaming her name, or "Oh God" or something, he screams, my hand to god, "YAHTZEE!!"
<octopus> …
<Hippolyta> …
<Kirin> BAH HA HA HA HA
<Hippolyta> hahahahahahahahaahahhahah omg
<Kirin> No, wait, lemme reiterate:
<Kirin> BAAAAH HA HA HA HA HA
<octopus> wtf part 2.
<Ariel> XD
<takhys> HEE. I love that.
<Kirin> Somebody needs to cut down on the board games.
<key_to_me> She was like "….Yahtzee?" and he's like "……what?"
<key_to_me> Apparently he's never even PLAYED yahtzee

It's a small world

<Bobby_Briggs> Do I make a pot of coffee or no.
<Ariel> make coffee, turner, and GIVE SOME TO ME :O
<Bobby_Briggs> you know IF YOU WERE CLOSER, I would happily share the pot with you.
<Ariel> BAH
<Ariel> THEY MAKE TRAINS
<Bobby_Briggs> 600 miles is a LITTLE BIT OF A WAYS to bring half-a-pot of coffee.
<Ariel> Lies.
<Bobby_Briggs> you're right.
<Ariel> I travel 600 miles just to take a dump every morning!
<Ariel> (that's a lie.)
<Bobby_Briggs> it's a HELL of a fucking ways.
<Hippolyta> XD
<Bobby_Briggs> …
<Bobby_Briggs> wait, Ariel.
<Bobby_Briggs> THAT'S YOU WHO TAKES A SHIT ON MY DOORSTEP EVERY MORNING???
<Ariel> ………>_>
<Ariel> shit

  • Ariel quit (Exit: To vanish into oblivion is easy to do.)

Shut up, you know they'd totally say that

  • Tod got these WAY AWESOME foil Batman valentines.

Ariel: does one of them say WHAT ARE YOU, RETARDED? THE GODDAMN BATMAN WANTS TO BE YOUR VALENTINE

O:D

Hats: Yanno, when I hear 'bone-shaking beauty,' I picture sommat like this

Bad movies = AWESOME

<Karra> Oh, and Matthew Lillard. Who is apparently incapable of not playing a psychopath.
<Karra> Even when he's not playing a psychopath.
<key_to_me> HAHAHAH wait wasn't he a good guy in 13 Ghosts or am I thinking of someone else
<Karra> He was!
<Karra> He was still crazy, though.
<Karra> "I hunt ghosts!" "Goats?" "GHOSTS!"
<Slarti> Wasn't he Cereal Killer in "Hackers" ?
<Slarti> AHGAHD I JUST ADMITTED TO HAVING SEE "HACKERS" SHOOT ME NOW

Aww!

<Karra> The blockbuster guy tried to stop me from renting Wing Commander.
<Ariel> HA HA HA HA HA
<Karra> He was all "No. I'm not letting you rent this. I can't. I can't do it, ma'am."

HA HA HA

<key_to_me> HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH BEST POSTSECRET EVER

And we're cultured, too

<Delepants> "Je t'aime. That's French for "It's Valentines, why aren't we naked yet?""
<Ariel> HAHAHAHAHAHA
<Ariel> JP: *writes that one down*
<Bobby_Briggs> ah-hahhah
<octopus> "voulez-vous faites tous mes devoires ce soir"
(would you like to do my homework tonight)

Superbowl commentary

<Hippolyta> Oh my
<Hippolyta> Ten bucks says Keith Richards has a wardrobe malfunction.
<kymscrazy> *watching the halftime show* Di: Him and Steven Tyler are going to do this until they die. Me: They're gonna croak on stage.
<Ariel> i'd watch THAT
<kymscrazy> *dies* "I saw the Stones live once." "So, I was at the concert where Mick DIED!"

Takhys' Links of Lov

<takhys> I love you.
<Terana> Tahkys.
<Terana> No.
<Terana> Just….
<Terana> No.
<Ariel> Takhys
<Ariel> I am beginning to suspect
<octopus> ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
<Ariel> that you do not, in fact, love us

I don't know either

<Ariel> it looks like a dying naked mole rat
<Ariel> encompassed by magenta flame
<Stephen_Strange> I think I've had dates like that.

……… Constantine/Wesley??

<Swamp_Thing> snrk. Ponder the theological implications
<NormanOsborn> Why is he winking?
<Swamp_Thing> I was thinking more that it's Swamp Thing… missing his left eye.
<Stephen_Strange> or perhaps the left eye is too heavly shado… no, no, that's not logical
<Swamp_Thing> Given that in Millar's run, Swampy's push towards unification of the elements was at least in part orchestrated by "The Traveler"…
<NormanOsborn> ….
<Swamp_Thing> … a robed left-eye-missing staff-carrying figure who had a pair of ravens he referred to as Thought and Memory…
<NormanOsborn> Swampy + Wesley Crusher?

Some of us are "old"

<Karra> KIDS THESE DAYS WITH THEIR FAST INTERWEBS
<Karra> WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE I HAD TO SURF THE INTERNET BY PUTING A TELEPHONE IN A SOCKET

The SIMs

<kymscrazy> Em is a ho. Her lifetime want? To have sex with 20 different people.
<Bobby_Briggs> that's Bobby and James' son's desire, kym.
<Bobby_Briggs> James, of course, wants to devour 200 grilled-cheese sandwiches.
<Willow_Kitten> Em: Fuck you.
<Willow_Kitten> Em: Wait…
<Ariel> Bobby better get barefoot and in the kitchen, then.
<Ariel> HIS MAN WANTS A SAMMICH

Yes

<Ariel> Hey, you guys are good at porn, right?

Standards of Romance

<Delepants> He wrote me a SONNET once.
<Delepants> And it didn't suck.

Yep, They're Always Like This

<key_to_me> Well…. shut up

  • Ariel wins, ha ha.

<key_to_me> shut up, I DRIVE A DODGE STRATUS
<Ariel> FUCK YOU, I'M RUSSIAN!
<key_to_me> I DRIVE A DODGE STRATUS

  • Ariel is still Russian!!! (note: not actually Russian)
  • key_to_me DRIVES A DODGE STRATUS (note: does not actually drive a Dodge Stratus)
  • Ariel throws a waffle at keymun and runs away, thereby winning
  • key_to_me EATS THE WAFFLE IN MIDAIR, thereby pwning.

<Ariel> >:O CHEAT
<key_to_me> ….Ariel did you notice that since Jillian is gone we have both gone completely batshit crazy?
<key_to_me> It's like Mommy and Daddy left home and forgot to get us a babysitter
<Ariel> …yeah
<key_to_me> And now we've eaten all the cereal in the house and jumped on all the couches and chairs and we're all off our meds
<Ariel> Jillian is mommy AND daddy?
<key_to_me> Clearly.
<Ariel> we also ate a WHOLE PACKET of oreos >:D
<Ariel> WITH ICE CREAM >:D!!!
<key_to_me> SHIT YEAH we did
<key_to_me> And we so found her secret stash of girl scout cookies
<Ariel> we totally did
<key_to_me> AND WHERE SHE KEEPS THE CHRISTMAS PRESENTS
<Ariel> then we rented NAUGHTY R-RATED MOVIES
<key_to_me> We watched "The Good Son" and I cried. And you laughed at me and then we got in a fight and broke a lamp :O
<Ariel> :O OH NOES THE PRICELESS LAMP FROM IKEA
<Ariel> then we had to glue it back together >_>
<Ariel> except we ran out of glue, so… tape
<key_to_me> Jillian is gonna be SO MAD though. But I'm telling her it was your fault >:D
<Ariel> WTF I'm telling her you forgot to let the dog out and that's why she piddled on the carpet >:(!!!!
<key_to_me> OMG IT'S YOUR DOG ANYWAYS >:|!!!!!!!
<Ariel> OMG IT IS NOT >:(!!!!
<key_to_me> IT IS SO, I WANTED A KITTY AND YOU WANTED THE DOG. >:|
<Ariel> Yeah well
<Ariel> You got the Barbie dreamhouse >_>
<key_to_me> I got the Barbie DreamBOAT. With the blender on top that makes smoothies. >:D
<key_to_me> (I actually do have the Barbie DreamBoat with the blender on top.)
<Ariel> Just because Jillian likes you more … >:(
<key_to_me> :D That is because I am her little princess and you're a big dyke
<Ariel> OMG *is the bad child. runs out and gets a zillion tattoos and pierces my tongue*
<key_to_me: :D *………virgin?*

OUCH.

<key_to_me> THE VERDICT IS IN, AND THE WORLD WAS NOT AWAITING A CHUBBY, POMPOUS EUNICH
*Snapple feels the chubby pompous eunich deserves his voice in the world forum
<Takh> That's right. Otto should have a say.

Word Swap!

<Ariel> Please tell me she is not COMPLETELY retarded
<Turner> Hal: I'm afraid I can't do that, Ariel.

Alan Moore is Not Crazy!

<Eiko> Alan Moore believes in Grant Morrison?
<Eiko> That's one person, I guess
<Turner> Alan Moore knows perfectly well that his encounter with Grant Morrison was a drug-induced hallucination, but does not particularly care.
<Turner> The way he sees it, authors are only important in terms of their effect on the human mind, and Moore's mind is exactly where this author comes from.

Quit That!

key_to_me: ARIEL QUIT MASTURBATING AND GET OUT HERE
Ariel: :/ am board
key_to_me: yes, hence the vigorous wrist-music, I get that
Ariel: if i were masturbating i'd be less bored
key_to_me: Clearly there are huge gaping holes in my logic, but instead of exploring those how about we talk about something less focused on me being wrong

Yes Bobby, Jillian is Saying That

<Bobby_Briggs> Jiliian is saying that if Jillian were to write in Dobby's voice, Jillian would hang herself from a high rafter, using her own intestines as her noose?

Threats, Shmreats

<Annie_> Someohow, having Dom reply with 'Not if I throttle the life from your neck, first!' isn't going to end well. I have a horrible vision of Warren bursting through a wall like the Kool Aid man and then threatening him with FIRE…. Which would make the poor boy weep.
<maximoff> That and I'm not sure if throttling a penis is exactly a threat
<Slarti> OH YEAH! OH NO!
<Ariel> Your motto should be OH NO WHAT HAVE I DONE TO THIS BEAUTIFUL HOME?!

We Learn

<Takh> Remember. I love you all.
<Slarti> Uh oh.
<Jillian> oh god
<Slarti> It's never good when Takh tries to remind us of this.
<Ariel> *BRACES SELF*
<Delepants> *battens down the hatches*
<Tsu> Not neccessarily unnamed. You named him. :D
<unioctopus> …
<Jillian> I bet she's laughing too hard to type
<Jillian> Cackling, even
<Ariel> CHAOS AND PANIC!

  • Takh CACKLES.

<Ariel> TAKHYS LOVES US!!
<Bobby_Briggs> Cthulhu: I love all of you. Nobody: *worries*
<Bobby_Briggs> Takhys: I love all of you: Nobody: *remains calm*
<Delepants> Everyone: *flips their shit*
<Bobby_Briggs> shit: *goes flippetaflippetafloppeta through the air*

  • Ariel runs around screaming

<Bobby_Briggs> St. John the Divine: And a two-headed lamb did trod upon the thirty-fifth seal; (2) and four heavenly monsters said 'Behold!' (3) and from the seas up did rise Takhys, who did declaimeth 'I love all of you'. (4) Panic then ruled the skies and the land, and a third part of the waters of the land were salt because everyone was crying.

I AM TEH PUPPET MASTRE

<Willow_Kitten> As for secrets, Ray said she didn't have enough.
<Jillian> EVERYONE MAKES MORE SECRETS.
<Jillian> Er, I meant … make. Like I'm not … trying to godmode you in RL.
<Ariel> Well, Jill apparently does have her hand up all our butts, anyway.

We Love Canon

<Ariel> someone should make Completely Canon Norman.
<Ariel> Who only recites lines FROM THE ISSUES IN WHICH HE APPEARED.

COWBELL

<Ariel> AUGH NEEDS MORE LENSFLARES!!! [http://www.livejournal.com/userpic/24636430/944293]
<Bobby_Briggs> Christopher Walken: I got a fever.
<Bobby_Briggs> Christopher Walken: and the only cure is
<Bobby_Briggs> Christopher Walken: MORE LENSFLARE

Two Cats!

jillian: Oh, and just in case y'all missed it: http://exprophet.livejournal.com/65514.html
Willow_Kitten: I did not miss it, I am ignoring it, Sir.

Serious Business

<Tod> Do you think it they were all animals, if Batman would be a bat, or something else?
<Delepants> I think Batman should be Snuffles.
<Ariel_> Batman would — *DIES*
<Delepants> Just 'cause.
<Ariel_> Batman: :D IS IT CRIME?????
<Jillian> hahahahahhaha
<Delepants> XD XD XD YES EXACTLY
<Tod> I don't think you guys are taking this seriously enough ;)

We're Fucking Refined

<Ariel> I love you, like Takhys loves you.
<Bobby_Briggs> and Nick and Wolverine necking isn't really that exciting to me in a horror or glee sort of sense, I fear.
<Bobby_Briggs> am I a bad person for this?
<Ariel> yes.
<Ariel> I think what bothers me is how shiny he is.
<Ariel> shiny and hairless.
<Willow_Kitten> Yeah, that bothered me.
<Bobby_Briggs> the hairless is a bit distressing.
<Willow_Kitten> But maybe dipping Wolvie in nair is what has Nick smiling so much.
<Bobby_Briggs> the shiny is reasonable, I don't doubt Wolverine sweats like a fucking pig.
<Ariel> "We've replaced Wolverine's soap with Nair—let's see if he notices"?
<Bobby_Briggs> ahahaha
<Bobby_Briggs> he'd notice because he'd know if his hair fell out of his head.
<Bobby_Briggs> You KNOW Wolverine washes his whole body with a bar of soap, hair and all.
<Willow_Kitten> I think he'd notice when the drain clogged and the water wouldn't drain.
<Ariel> i bet after an hour in the danger room his pits smell like death.
<Willow_Kitten> I can't believe we are having this talk.
<Ariel> These are the things I think about at night. >_>

Oh Fart, Writer's Block

<Tindy> also, GUYS
<Tindy> I am writing a Joyce pastiche haiku for my friend Maddy, and I am stuck.
<Tindy> The first two lines are:
<Tindy> Oh, Maddy my love,
<Tindy> Fart fart fart fart fart fart fart.
<Tindy> Now I'm stuck.
<Bobo> *DED*
<Takh> HEE.
<Slarti> "Now I am so stuck"
<Slarti> There's your third line.
<Tindy> …no
<Tindy> But, hmmm, stream of consciousness is five syllables.
<Willow_Kitten> I'm not sure you want to make the correlation between farting and something being stuck.
<Tindy> That too, ewww

Sort of Like Goth Dancing

Ariel: SEIZURE ICON
Ariel: (seriously. is that supposed to be sexy?)
Bobo: AGH IT'S UP MY NOSE
Bobo: AGH IT'S UP MY NOSE
Bobo: AGH IT'S UP MY NOSE
Bobo: can't touch this.

Whaaaaaat?!

Hob: WHAT IS DEVO
Karra: …
Karra: WHAT?
RayRayGoose: …Devo is a band.
Ardath: …are we not men?

We Know What We Doing

<Tod> Any community devoted solely to the obsession with one comic book character can't be good. Unlike us, who are perfect sane about this.
<Willow_Kitten> Hee.
<Jillian> hahahahahaha
<Karra> This is true…
<Karra> :D
<Tod> Naturally.

At This Point, Turner's Cats Automatically Equals LOL

<Bobby_Briggs> Friend of mine suggested naming the cats Professor Xavier and Magneto.
<Bobby_Briggs> 'Professor Xavier, did you make a dookie behind the couch??? Why can't you use the litterbox like Magneto does?'

A Common Request

<Tod> Once we ran a poll at a rp convention about what animal Spock would be, and the leading answer was 'horse'. I don't get it, either.
<Jillian> …. horse. Of course.
<Karra> Maybe because of the ears?
<Tod> Someone voted 'chia pet'
<Bobby_Briggs> Spock: Horse. Fascinating.
<Tod> Now, if we had done this at a furry convention, it would have been an entirely different matter.
<Ariel_> it'd be like
<Tod> 'a sexy horse'
<Ariel_> Zombie Jackal/elephant/dragon hybrid
<Jillian> "Spock would be a hermaphroditic skunk"
<Bobby_Briggs> Spock: I would ask that all of you stop talking about me.

Oh, This is a Good One

<Bobby_Briggs> god it looks JUST LIKE a poop.
<Bobby_Briggs> I AM QUITE AN AUTHORITY ON POOP IN A GLASS CAKE PAN, I WILL HAVE YOU KNOW.
<octopus> Oh. Haw haw.
<Ariel> it really really does
<Ariel> the colour, the texture…
<Bobby_Briggs> the texture is what does it for me.
<Bobby_Briggs> a lot of things are brown, after all.
<key_to_me> OKAY SHH.
<Bobby_Briggs> LIKE DIRT.
<Bobby_Briggs> AND UHM BROWNIES.
<Bobby_Briggs> AND DIRT BROWNIES.
<Bobby_Briggs> AND SCHIST
<Ariel> it's because of the butterfingers, i guess
<Ariel> they give it those weird light brown chunks
<Bobby_Briggs> guess so!
<Ariel> like corn in the poop.
<Karra> …are you done talking about pooting yet?
<Ariel> No.

Bad in the Latin

<key_to_me> I'm gonna lobby to put that on your headstone, Turner
<Turner> *laugh*
<key_to_me> "Turner Whats-his-nuts: Taught A Generation To Rofl"
<Turner> hee!
<key_to_me> And then that whole rant in quotes.
<key_to_me> your INTERBUTT TOMBSTONE.
<Augie> *giggle*
<Turner> awesome.
<Turner> I approve wholeheartedly.
<Turner> My original choice was gonna be- shit, I forget the declensions.
<key_to_me> I'm totally putting your last name as "Whats-his-nuts" too.
<key_to_me> There's always the old "I TOLD YOU I WAS SICK"
<Turner> nihil nisi bonum is 'speak nothing but good of the dead'; I had tweaked it slightly to 'the dead do not speak well of you' with changing endings.
<Ariel> haha, oh
<Ariel> i thought you were gonna put "Shit, I forgot the declensions" on it.
<key_to_me> the dead do not disco.
<Ariel> bullshit
<Turner> ahahahah
<Turner> 'Nihil- shit, I forgot the declensions' would be an AWESOME tombstone.
<Turner> 'Nihil- shit, I forgot the declensions, just shut up' would be even better!
<Turner> and I imagine it'd make Takh snicker.
<Ariel> "Do not pay a drunkard to make your tombstonejwaflkfj;sajkflah"
<Augie> *SNRK*
<Turner> hehehe. on two lines:
<Turner> MEASURE TWICE
<Turner> CUT ONC| (edgeoftombstone)

Alec Troven: Multiversally Hated

[01:00] Turner: the problem with a Nexus Therapy Center is that for every player who could fucking RP their way out of a wet sack there'd be 2-3 Alec_trovens.
[01:01] Ariel: true, and the nature of the place would make it impossible to avoid them
[01:01] Turner: Right.
[01:01] Ariel: so shrink-mun would have to be VERY VERY VERY PATIENT
[01:01] Turner: I can't play the shrink, then. :)
[01:02] Turner: Alec: *turns up and blathers in a blathery way about how inconsistent his internal narrative is*
[01:02] Turner: Doc: So shoot yourself. Next patient, please?
[01:02] Ariel: AAHAhahAHa BEST
[01:02] Ariel: Doc: *magic lobotomy* FIXED.

Oh, DELE. *shocked*

<Delepants> I recognised Sean Connery BY HIS ASS
<Delepants> I was horrified with myself

But it's VERY Pointful!

<Ardath> It's weird how so many "teenage versions" of superheroes don't even have the first SIGNS of the physiques they'll later develop, especially with how exaggerated those physiques will become. I was already a D-cup at 12, it didn't wait to pop into being at 18 when I stopped being Teen Ardath and became Grown-Up Ardath… and I'm not sure I had a point there.

Right, that's what they ALL say

<Isis_Macrow> :<
<Isis_Macrow> I just ment to put out the fire ;-;
<Isis_Macrow> I didn't know it'd strip

BasementOOC has no COLLECTIVE plans for world domination

<Hats> I'm going to make a Dalek out of a roomba vacuum and a garbage can.
<Hats> I think I'm gonna let it motor around the campus square on its own.

Hips used to work in HOLLYWOOD

<Hippolyta> This (ed: Scientology recruitment drives backstage, masquerading as free voice-over lessons), ladies and gentlemen, was why I always carried my copy of Atlas Shrugged with me whenever I was on set.
<Turner> …do scientologists fear Ayn Rand?
<Swamp_Thing> Held it in front of you like a Bible to a vampire?
<Hippolyta> No, I'd just hit them with the book.
<Hippolyta> It's very heavy.

To be fair, though, it's mostly Ray these days

<Turner> DO I STOP YOU WIMMINZES FROM PLAYING CHARACTERS BURNING WITH TEH GHEI? DO I EVEN REMOTELY GO NO STOP IT? THEN I WILL TALK ABOUT MY RACK WHEN I LIKE TO AND I DO NOT WANNA HEAR STOP IT.

Let's Randomly Start Another Section

Dalek: the Musical (NEW-YORK NEW-YORK)

<Hats> ^
<key_to_me> LAWL
<Turner> o rly.
<Turner> I think that poster could be tweaked into 'NOW ON BROADWAY, IN COLOUR!
<Slarti> ["YOU WOULD MAKE A GOOD DA-LEK." — burn!]
<Turner> START SPREA-DING THE NEWS. THIS U-NIT IS LEA-VING TO-DAY.
<Slarti> snrk
<Turner> IT WANTS TO BE A PART OF IT. NEW-YORK. NEW-YORK.
<Turner> Daleks: *form a kick line. Lord knows how the fuck that works*

Normy and Cher? Just doesn't have the same ring…

  • Hats needs to remember that my Norman has a half-sister.

<MattOOC> o.O
<Hats> Named Cher. It's in the comic!
<MattOOC> huh
<vorkosigan> hee
<octopus> Cher Osborn… hee hee ha ha ha
<maximoff> Was she born in the wagon of a traveling show?

Oh, Jonathan Rhys-Meyers

<Jillian> Okay, Jonathan Rhys-Meyers needs to stop whatever he's doing. He scares me now. Maybe it's through all the forced publicity association with Cruise. Maybe it's the maniacal gleam in his eye he inevitably has during press shoots. Maybe it's the pained expression of what I can only hope is forced gaiety.
<Kaa> Who is this Rhys-Meyers person?
<Jillian> These aren't particularly frightening, but I've seen something like FIVE STRAIGHT DAYS of these types of pictures. None of them are the same, they just all LOOK the same.
<Kaa> AHAHAHAHAH
<Kaa> HIS FACE
<Kaa> "expression… must… make… /expression/…" ^
<Willow_Kitten> I am stoned. I don't even remember my own name. Why the fuck do these people keep taking my pictures? If Tom thinks I'm going to eat baby placenta, I'm going to punch him in the throat.

PyramidHead: IS IT FOOD???

<key_to_me> HOLY SHIT
<key_to_me> PYRAMID HEAD
<key_to_me> IS THE SHIT
<key_to_me> After I saw the movie the other day
<key_to_me> We all left the theater going "Pyramid Head should TOTALLY have his own sitcom"
<Ariel> lulz
<Karra> Would he get a wife? a sitcom wife that is inexplicably hotter than he?
<key_to_me> Wouldn't that be RAD though!?
<key_to_me> and a dog
<key_to_me> a dog with a pyramid head
<key_to_me> they'd call him Rapey
<key_to_me> just a little Jack Russel with a cow catcher on his noggin
<key_to_me> first episode: his wife catches him raping a zombie nurse, and halfway through he tears her skin off and keeps fucking her. And his wife is just like "Oh, Pyramid! *wah wah waaaaahhhhhh*"
<key_to_me> It was at this point that we realized that we were all sincerely fucked up
<Slarti> Rorschach is the next door neighbor, who keeps trying to sneak over and kill Rapey the Pyramid Head Dog, but then something always goes wrong.

Whoops!

<Jillian> RAY RAY RAY XD XD XD
<Jillian> I FOUND CRY WOLF SLASH
<Jillian> RAAAAYYYY DAMNIT XD
<key_to_me> I'M NOT RAY, JILL
<Jillian> … HAHAH AI DON'T CHECK MY WINDOWS
<Jillian> SORRY
<key_to_me> YOU'RE NOT SORRY
<Jillian> HAHAHAHA

Imperius Sex!

<Turner> that's such a desperately deeply wrong out of context quote.
<Tindy> which?
<Turner> [21:48] <Tindy> Seriously, though. Namor only has three inches on Peter.
<Tindy> OH GOD
<Turner> Exactly.
<Tindy> STOP BEING GROSS
<Terana> XD
<Terana> AHAHA.
<Willow_Kitten> Coming back and reading that line alone….
<Willow_Kitten> Yeah.
<Turner> Now we know why the Speedoius Rex fits like it does.
<key_to_me> AAAAAGH
<key_to_me> OH GOD
<key_to_me> WHY DID I COME BACK TO THAT
<key_to_me> SEE?
<Tindy> SHUT UP GUYS

  • key_to_me seizes

<Willow_Kitten> Wasn't just me.
<Turner> Because I work with God, Key. And God hates you. *solemn nod*

Very Important

key_to_me: JILL ARE YOU ALIVE
Jillian: NOES I MEAN YES
key_to_me: JILL CAN I TELL YOU
Jillian: TELL ME WHUT
key_to_me: I want to show you this cute thing I said because…. I think you would agree
Jillian: :D!!
key_to_me: key_to_me: In my brain, we all live on the same block.
key_to_me: key_to_me: And we have an alley in the back, so we all play hopskotch and jumprope and ride our bikes togethar :3
Ariel: :3
key_to_me: and there is a treehouse in your yard, and Jill has a jungle gym, and Turner's house has raspberry bushes and in the summer his mommy makes jam
Jillian: XD
Jillian: THAT SOUNDS IDEAL, SIR
key_to_me: only 'cuz Will and Kym are sistars and they have a TRAMPOLINE >:3

  • Jillian ded

key_to_me: Ray and Ne have a pool. *nod* But it's the inflatable kind so it's always getting holes in it.
Jillian: bahahaa. And does Ariel's very dumb dog pee in it too
key_to_me: YES
key_to_me: and the cat is always pooping in Tindy's sandbox

  • Jillian XD XD

key_to_me: RIGHT in the middle of Takh's scale models of the pyramids
Jillian: "it makes it more realistic :O"
Jillian: "there were not gigantic poos in ancient egypt :("
key_to_me: HAHAHAH YES
key_to_me: "NO NO IT'S THE SPHYNX, LOOK"
Jillian: "it's even already missing the nose :3"
Jillian: "hay don't they burn poo in the desert? for fires?"
key_to_me: and Will runs by and lights it on fire…
key_to_me: and Tindy starts crying again. "MY SPHYNX IS ON FIRE"
Jillian: and someone has t odistract her with koolaid
key_to_me: It'd be YOU
Jillian: and then you and Ariel can make her a sphynx out of play doh
key_to_me: YES But Ray would eat it before we gave it to her, because… Ray is that kind of kid >_<
Jillian: XD
key_to_me: boy that's disturbed
key_to_me: and Karra would be the weird kid that's always poking at roadkill with sticks
Jillian: *dies*
key_to_me: WOULDN'T SHE?
Jillian: WELL YES
key_to_me: and digging up worms and things
Jillian: she ha sher own graveyard
key_to_me: She's morbid. She fries ants with a magnifying glass.
Jillian: and reads books about circus sideshow deformities
key_to_me: I see Kym as that kid that was ALWAYS JUMPING ROPE
key_to_me: Tod was the Sidewalk Chalk Kid.
Jillian: I am pretty sure Ray's Ken dolls are put through terrible ordeals. oh GOD yes he was.
key_to_me: HAHAHA YES
key_to_me: Which kid am I? I bet I'm the Porch Kid. XD
Jillian: what …. under it? XD or ..
key_to_me: NO NO NO
key_to_me: just the kid that had the really cool stone porch with the ironwork railing
Jillian: ohhhhhhh
key_to_me: so it was IDEAL for playing makebelieve :3
Jillian: oh that was the CASTLE.
key_to_me: YUS
key_to_me: and all the plants in front
key_to_me: and Mommy would get all angry at us for trampling her flowers XD
Jillian: and we would then gather her wildflowers, ……… i.e. weeds
key_to_me: and in the summer we would pull the Slip & Slide out of Terana's garage and RUN ALL THE SPRINKLERS ON THE BLOCK
Jillian: parents: fadkjfhjdhf water bill >_o
key_to_me: YES
key_to_me: And Pants was there
key_to_me: but she was the kid with the glasses that always had a backpack full of books with her
Jillian: X3
key_to_me: and Takh was the kid that KNEW EVERYTHING.
key_to_me: Takh: I KNOW WHERE BABIES COME FROM XO
key_to_me: Everyone Else: :O ARE YOU JESUS?
Jillian: Turner: I know how they got there >:3
key_to_me: Yes, but remember, Turner is an Icky Boy
Jillian: bahahaha
key_to_me: So most of the time we would listen to Takh over him. Even though he would be right most of the time >_>
Jillian: Turner: XD Ray your Kens aren't facing the right way
key_to_me: HAHAHAHAHAHA
Jillian: Ray: Shut up :O
key_to_me: Will: ….*takes Ray's Ken dolls, straps firecrackers to them, throws them on top of the neighbor's garage*
Jillian: Ray: … "I WISH I COULD QUIT YOU" ;_;
key_to_me: HAHAHAHA yes.
Jillian: oh god, imagine Halloween
key_to_me: I see Ne as like, Ray's little sister that follows her around all day and sometimes gets into trouble, and Ray has to get her out of it again
Jillian: hahaha XD
key_to_me: OMG HALLOWEEN ON OUR IMAGINARY BLOCK WAS RAD
key_to_me: Ariel was The Little Mermaid. FOR TEN YEARS IN A ROW.
Jillian: hahahahahahhaa
key_to_me: I am not one to talk, as I was Dorothy <_<
Jillian: Ray was a pumpkin. Will and Kym were siamese twins.
key_to_me: YES
key_to_me: Turner was, of course, Doctor Strange. And nobody got who he was supposed to be except Tod. Everybody else thought he was Dracula. And Turner would whine and go "noooooo i'm doctor straaaaaange"

  • Jillian dies.

Jillian: I was a mummy because god wasting toilet paper is hilarious
key_to_me: also because your parents are cheap
Jillian: INDEED THEY ARE.
Jillian: Tod is a robot made of cardboard boxes :D
key_to_me: OH MY GOD HE SO IS
key_to_me: Dele: *THE PINK RANGER* :D :D :D
Jillian: XD
key_to_me: SHUT UP, YOU KNOW SHE SO IS
Jillian: SHE PRETTY MUCH DEFINITELY IS
key_to_me: it was either that or Sailor Moon
Jillian: and she didn't like the wig.
key_to_me: absolutely
key_to_me: oh my god this is going on the wiki

  • Jillian dies

key_to_me: only you get to do it because formatting kills me ded
Jillian: YAY
key_to_me: >_>
key_to_me: and then tell the room

  • Jillian does this thing XD

key_to_me: ABOUT HOW AWESOME WE ARE

BasementOOC: Your Source For Buttsex And Sarcasm, 24/7

<key_to_me> lots of people, apparently, do indeed take it in the ass
<key_to_me> like, on purpose
<Bobo> oh my GOD key
<key_to_me> I KNOW
<key_to_me> isn't it totally mind-blowing
<Bobo> what has humanity come to

Neither do we, honestly

<takhys> Hermes: :O! *brings the tortoise home*
<Turner> I CAN BRING HOME THE TORTOISE
<Turner> FRY IT UP IN A PAN
<Edison> damn busy
<Turner> AND NEVER NEVER LET YOU FORGET YOU'RE NOR-MAN
<Turner> 'CAUSE I AM HERRRRRMES
<Beth> Turner. Is the crack really that good?
<Turner> I don't know what's wrong with me.

Syphilis: Serious Business

<Secretly_German> Not like Edinburgh
<Secretly_German> Which is pronounced Edinborough
<Bobo> Burruh.
<Bobo> …how long until edinburgers
<Secretly_German> Or…Goddamn, London has some bizarre pronounciation
<Secretly_German> Such as Cockburn.
<Bobo> …
<Secretly_German> Which is actually Co-burn
<Secretly_German> Actually, I'm fairly sure "Cockburn" is in fact, pronounced "syphillis."
<Bobo> one does not simply walk into syphillis.

Damnit, Hollywood!

<Turner> BY THE RAGGED RINGS OF RAGGADOR I DEMAND A DOCTOR STRANGE MOVIE.
<Ariel_> BY THE LITTLE YELLOW BOOTIES OF IRON FIST, I SAY, DENIED

Somebody else come up with an appropriate title for this, cause by god, I can't

<Annie_> Mini-D: *asks the Nexus about homosexuality*
<Bobo> Nexus: *gay*
<Greed> The answer is homosexuality.
<Hats> Heee
<Greed> Mr. Trebec, the question is: What is the Nexus?
<Turner> And this is why we have D_M and Sages.
<Turner> Sages was lonely, and needed a boyfriend.
<Greed> Sages is obviously Uke
<Turner> They have an abusive relationship and really if we were better friends to either of them we'd be trying to break them up.
<Jillian> Sometimes … when a multiversal RPG loves another multiversal RPG very very much…
<Lizbot> DM is definitely elitist and bitchy enough to be…a stereotypical something or other.
<Ariel> d_m is a young little twink
<Ariel> all bleached blond hair and abercrombie shirts
<Annie_> D_M: FUCK YOU ARIEL I AM VERY EXPERIENCED. >:|
<Lizbot> Please.
<Lizbot> D_M has dyed its hair a horrible unnatural shade of black
<Greed> HO SHIT, THIS CONVERSATION HAS DERAILED
<Lizbot> And wears ridiculous thrift store shirts.
<Annie_> D_M: It's called -Scene- Hellooooo…..

  • Lizbot punches D_M

<Greed> BRPS is the disapproving father who kicked them out of the house for being, "Little fags"
<Jillian> lawl
<Hats> Where does the Sanctuary fit into this strange family?
<Jillian> black sheep.
<Lizbot> It's the drunken uncle no one talks about.
<Jillian> Basement was the mailman's kid.
<Hats> Sanctuary: *more elitest, but NICE about it. >,>*
<Annie_> Lawls
<Greed> GRPR is the COOL Uncle who gets you loaded, gives you guns, and lets you take pot and fire at mailboxes and shit. Then he takes you behind the house and sodomi-HOLY SHIT I'VE BEEN LIVING A LIE

MAGIC

<Ariel> I'll cast a magic spell
<Ariel> it's called MY FOOT in HER ASS
<Ariel> …icus
<Ariel> Latin.
<octopus> I see.
<key_to_me> srsly. lesbians have magic powers.
<Slarti> Bibbity-bobbity-boottothehead

He-llbo-oy, he's our hero

<octopus> Hmm….. I was just thinking about something. Something.. suspicious.
<octopus> If Liz is "fire", Abe "water", Krauss "air" and Roger "earth"…. does that mean that Hellboy is "heart"? Or is Kate "heart", and does it mean that if they all concentrate really hard, Hellboy will come back?
<Liz[plague]> or Captain Planet will show up.
<Slarti> snork
<octopus> *lawl*
<octopus> Liz: Hey, check out that /hair/.

Like a pained refrain from the damned

<Turner> John Constantine needs to have an associate named Istvaan Baal.
<Turner> who could have an australian stone that belongs to Constantine!
<Turner> Then istvaan baal has constantine's opal
<Turner> NOW IT'S ISTVAAN BAAL'S NOT CONSTANTINE'S OPAL
<Slarti> Could someone with ops please kick Turner?

Auuughhhh

<Lizbot> GET HERE, LUNCH.
<Lizbot> As opposed to 'get here, lynch'
<Jillian> David Lynch: You rang? :3
<Jillian> me: AUGH
<Lizbot> When that happens, your apartment becomes gorgeously colored but ceases to make any sense at all.
<Lizbot> THE ANGLES GOD THE ANGLES ARE WRONG
<Turner> David Lynch: JILL! JILL! HELLO JILL! CAN YOU HEAR ME? I HAVE BROUGHT YOU A BOLOGNA SANDWICH! ALSO, ONE OF THOSE LITTLE FRUIT CUPS!
<Ariel> D:
<Ariel> will there be a little man in red, dancing?
<Turner> David Lynch: YES! HE IS AT THE BOTTOM OF THE FRUIT CUP!

Yes. Too Soon.

<Tony_S> the internet is for…
<Terana> Kittens?
<Turner> kittenporn
<kymscrazy> Killing puppies?
<Terana> Tubgirl?:
<Tony_S> penguin erotica
<vorkosigan> …

  • octopus nods

<octopus> That's all good. Any other developments I should know of?
<Turner> …uhm, water is wet?
<Terana> I have midget/trasvestite cop porn, somewhere.
<Turner> …
<Turner> I think you just sprained my psyche.
<Terana> …too soon?

Nexus Dictionary Time!

  • Amelia flimberts
  • Norman_Osborn loves that word.

<Willow_Kitten> What is it?
<Amelia> it's a verb
<Norman_Osborn> I know.
<Turner> how exactly does a body flimbert?
<Amelia> it's the verb for the act of raising your hand with the forefinger outstreched, opening your mouth… then reconsidering it, closing your mouth and lowering your hand.
<Turner> oh, like holding up your finger as if you're going to interject and opening your mouth and then pausing- shaking your head- shutting up and putting your hand away. Got it.
<Amelia> yes
<Amelia> precisely.
<Turner> It is totally a good thing to have a verb for doing that.
<Amelia> it is.
<Turner> because I do it a lot.
<Turner> It is one of my favorite ways to avoid saying 'DID YOUR PARENTS HAVE CHILDREN WHO LIVED, YOU FUCKTARD, IT DOESN'T MATTER THAT YOU MAKE NEARLY TWICE WHAT I MAKE BECAUSE YOU COULDN"T FIND A CLUE WITH A MAP AND YOU COULDN"T FIND YOUR ASS WITH BOTH HANDS AND A ROMAN CANDLE UP IT'

Every man dies, not every man really lives… in the slums?

<Slarti> I think it's funny that the nexus_slums is an ad-banner-using account.
<Slarti> Because things are so hard, that they're willing to sell out to the Man for… whatever Sponsored+ comms have.
<Karra> …do they have /anything/?
<Slarti> Well, we could take their Nexus lands. But we could never take… their FREEEEEEEDOOOOOOOOM!!!!

Oh THAT'S just not RIGHT

  • JSheppard looks expectant!

<Bobby_Briggs> . o O ( Sheppard looks pregnant. What the hell. )
<Donnatella> ((XD))
<JSheppard> ((XD!))
<Bobby_Briggs> ((…gas the manwomb?))

Damnit, God

<Jillian> … idea.
<Jillian> Zombie!Mary Poppins.
<Jillian> … why, brain?
<Turner> because god hates you.
<Turner> God: *sitting on his golden throne* DARN YOU, JILLIAN. *glower*
<Jillian> :3
<Turner> God: AND LO! JILLIAN SHALT THINKETH UPON YE UNDEAD BRITISH ICONOGRAPHIC CHILDREN'S CHARACTER'S.
<Turner> God: EXCEPT WITHOUT THAT EXTRA APOSTROPHE. DON'T WRITE THAT DOWN, JOHN.
<Isobel> John: *writes it down*
<Turner> God: DAMMIT, I TOLD YOU NOT TO DO THAT. DOES JHVH HAVE TO SHANK A BITCH TO GET ANY RESPECT 'ROUND HERE.

MUs: You have the POWER

  • su @forces Turkey.

<Turkey> …Sorry? D:
<su> @force Turkey+@past
<su> *@post
<Jillian> hahaa
<MattOOC> YOU FOOL YOU SENT HER BACK IN TIME

Some Of Us Have Dirty Minds

<Tindy> what should I call him? Peter Parker, physics + health + subby stuff
<Turner> …'subby stuff'?
<Turner> Please expand on that phrase so my mind may leave the gutter sir.
<Norman_Osborn> Yes,
<Norman_Osborn> do.
<Willow_Kitten> My mind is now in the gutter.

  • Turner reaches up, shoves Willow's mind aside.

Terana> Well, you can't say it's not accurate…
<Turner> YOU'RE BLOCKING MY PERISCOPE.
<Willow_Kitten> No, you're right.
<Willow_Kitten> He's totally a sub. I mean, look at the Daddy figures.

  • Norman_Osborn chokes on her tea. Periscope, agh.

<Kaa> he's subbier than a submarine.
<Kaa> (GET IT)
<Turner> Doc: …Wang, if you could bring the raw lye into the bathroom, please. I need a long meditative soak, after this discussion.
<Norman_Osborn> …. Wait, Wang?
<Willow_Kitten> Hahaha.
<Terana> XD
<Turner> Doc: …Look what you people have done to me.
<Kaa> the keys are right next to each other
<octopus> DX
<Norman_Osborn> Clearly.
<octopus> *facepalm*
<Norman_Osborn> My sister and I turned the concept of a periscope into a filthy juvenile joke years ago.
<Turner> Doc gives even his little namservant a proper name.
<Terana> *manservant
<Turner> well, considering the discussion, isn't Spidey the little nam(or)servant?
<Norman_Osborn> Let's hope Wang doesn't mope. The last thing we need is for Doc's Wang to drag himself around the floors of his big house.
<Turner> Doc: By the Zinc Zither of Zhilbor!
<Terana> *chokes*

Defining 'Boatmasexuality' for the masses

<key_to_me> We are so fucked in the head when we're talking about boats taking it up the ass
<Bobo> The boat ass
<Turner> that's why they call it a poopdeck

By the way, Turner is ancient

<CuttleLan> Hermes: *sends Xander more horrible gifts*
<Turner> HOrrible gifts like… 1967?

  • Tindy eyes Turner
  • Turner is eyed.

<Turner> whaaat
<Tindy> you have made a pop culture reference of OLD PEOPLE, clearly
<Turner> oh, typo. 1957.
<Turner> And no, it's just- scarily 1950s, is all.
<Tindy> okay
<Tindy> well, you're still old anyway
<Turner> YES I KNOW THIS.
<Tindy> BWAHAHAHAHA
<Turner> I HAVE BEEN AWARE OF IT FOR YEARS NOW THANK YOU
<Turner> IT IS POSSIBLE WE SHOULD SET SOMETHING UP WITH CHANSERV THAT WHEN CHANSERV SEES ME LOG IN IT SAYS 'HOLY SHIT HE'S ALMOST AS OLD AS THE DEFAULT DATE IN UNIX'

Just a typical selection of BasementOOC chatter

<Bobo> 'Kay. Forbidden just waltzes along, has a short KRONKING conversation and sodomises the boat?
<Guybrush> More or less.
<Bobo> Or do we presume Forbidden is fucking the boat already?
<Bobo> We must be specific with the details of our boatbumming
<Snapple_jorb> Eeeew
<Eiko> Boatbuggery.
<Turner> boatbuggery.
<Guybrush> XD We should probably say it's about a few steps away from doing it to make sure everybody gets off on time.
<Eiko> Please. use the correct term.
<Turner> out
<Eiko> you first
<Turner> out of my head.
<Guybrush> And yes, the Nexus has sunk to a new low. XD
<Turner> I was here first, darnit!
<Jillian> hahahahahah "make sure everybody gets off in time"
<Jillian> I was like "gosh, that's awful considerate"
<Guybrush> SHUT UP THAT WAS AN UNINTENTIONAL PUN ;_;
<Bobo> AHAHAHAHA
<Bobo> I know what Carol's going to do once the boat is done.
<Guybrush> COLD SHOWER TIME FOR THE NEXUS
<Snapple_jorb> Kurt: Gets off…I am not sure I get it.
<Turner> Well I don't know. I mean, if some watery tart of a kraken threw me a miscegeny in some farcical aquatic buggery, it wouldn't make me King of England.

We're so smart.

<Turner> Sad truth #267 of the Internet: if it can possibly instil interest in a human mind, somewhere on the internet there is a picture of someone fucking it.
<Ardath> corollary: Even if nobody's developed a fetish for it yet, somewhere on the internet there is a picture of someone fucking it.
<Turner> I have yet to find an exception.
<Jillian> murphy's sad truth axiom: and it's your mom.
<Turner> Dude, when a google search for 'nun spanking' turns up THOUSANDS of links

  • takhys has joined #basementooc

<Ardath> And! Corrolation! Takhys will be able to find the picture.

Threadless hurts us sometimes, but we like it

<Mori> Turner: Do you know if threadless does like… "free shipping on purchases over $so-and-so"?
<Turner> they do not
<Mori> Because in the shipping it costs for three shirts, I could get another shirt. xD
<Mori> Blearg
<Turner> how the fuck are you shipping it?
<Mori> UPfuckmeintheassS

I can do nothing but lol

  • Jillian makes with Out of Context PM Theater.

<Jillian> <Jeri> the children's nipples: *stare beseechingly at me*
<Jeri> OJMgSOgjksroghrkopr
<Jeri> You retard
<Jillian> HahAHAhahahahahahahAHahah you don't understand how hard I laughed
<Jeri> I'm already sitting here going 'ok, now carrying on two simultaneous conversations with jillian'
<Jeri> THEY ARE.
<Jeri> My mother says 'it doesn't count as a shirt if it doesn't connect at the bottom'
<Jeri> So these kids have shirts that are indeed, connected at the bottom
<Jillian> … XD
<Jeri> by A THREAD. it's like they're wearing upside down thongs on their chests.
<Jeri> i hate them…and yet…they are so pretty.
<Jeri> We killed the room!

  • Jeri high-fives Jillian
  • Jillian ded of lol

<Eiko> o.O
<Jeri> I WANT THAT IN THE WIKI
<Jeri> look, i'm pretty sure if nothing else? basement is for nipples. and children.
<Jeri> ……..I MEAN 15 YEAR OLDS

  • Jillian more ded

<Jeri> NOT ACTUAL CHILDREN
<Jeri> Jillian, we can't hang out now
<Jeri> you're gonna be like "HI JERI HAHAH CHILDREN'S NIPPLES"
<Jillian> I WOULD NOT BRING UP NIPPLES ………….. LOUDLY
<Bobo> I can see this.
<Bobo> Coffee shop. Jeri sits, drinking coffee. All is serene.
<Bobo> Jillian bursts in, in militant garb, and shrieks "HI JERI HAHAH CHILDREN'S NIPPLES".

Damn smartass reindeer

<Jeri[brb]> So I go outside and say to myself "The reindeer are looking particularly fetching this evening. Perhaps I will take a picture to show my interbutt friends."
<Jeri[brb]> Three reinder: *pee. at the same time.*
<Slarti> "Those reindeer know what my Interbutt friends are like."

Whups!

<Anneh_> OH NOES PAIGE IS ANGRY.
<Anneh_> Paige: *turns green with purple shorts!*
<Some> Ulti: … what is it with that color theme?
<Terana> Norman: Ask Stan Lee. If he can remember.
<Turner> Bobby: He probably can't, he's like what, 70-thousand years old up there in the 21st century?
<Jillian> Greg: I think he's animatronic! :3
<Terana> Norman: Shh!
<Jillian> Greg: Oop! *taken away by FBI*
<Terana> Norman: >_> I mean… what a foolish idea. Aheh.

Terana, LionJesus' Witness (but only when no one's awake)

  • Terana has joined #basementooc

<Terana> Hi! Would you like a free Narnia DVD? :D
<Terana> >_> Taking that as a no.
<Terana> Well, FINE.
<Terana> LionJesus doesn't NEED you.
<Terana> :p

There are a lot of things in my closet

<Jillian> … noises, noises downstairs coming closer o_o ?

  • Jillian opens the door…?

<Turner> downstairs: *comes closer*
<Lan> LAND SHARK.
<octopus> D:
<Aleron_Nen> Candygram.
<Jillian> ?? no one downstairs, now it sounds like it's coming from my closet
<Jillian> Freud: ho HO!
<Karra> THERE'S A MONSTER IN YOUR CLOSET?
<octopus> ….

  • Tod has joined #basementooc

<Karra> …there's a freud in your closet?

Srsly Wrong Business

<Terana> http://www.lsdudes.com/p-unicorn/ NWS.
<Terana> Also, mmmm. perfectly ripe peach. ^_^
<Bowser> mmmmm.
<Bowser> …
<Bowser> …
<Bowser> Terana, I hate you
<Snapple> Terana I cannot BREATHE
<Terana> :D
<LadyNiko> that is just wrong, Ter! :)
<Bowser> LN THIS IS NOT A :)ING MATTER.
<LadyNiko> LOL

  • Bowser demands seventy lines 'I will not smile at the obscene unicorns' by wednesday. >:|

Attention Mozilla

<Jillian> I think the penis unicorns made my firefox seize up o_o
<Ardath> Nope, I think firefox just did some kind of update.
<Jillian> ahh, I see.
<Ardath> Mine siezed up a few minutes ago, and when I reloaded it, my firewall got testy about it having some new component and wanted me to clear it all over again.
<Slarti> An anti-penis-unicorn update?
<Ardath> If there isn't one, there probably should be.

Frank Miller lines up dominoes in the shape of a WHORE

<Tindy> this is one of the dumbest covers not drawn by Frank Miller that I have seen in months.
<Slarti> Nice qualifier.
<Slarti> "not drawn by Frank"
<Tindy> DOMINOES! *pushes over Black Cat and watches all of them fall over*
<Slarti> Though that said, uh, yeah.
<Slarti> <all in unison> durrrrrr…

We're so smart, and getting smarterer…er.

<Takhys> After all, it is only in the crucible of the perfumer's laboratory that the violet's scent can be transmuted into another form and thereby be rescued from its own mortality. So too, great translations have always aimed through the original's effects at the core of its meaning, through the plant's flower at its seed; and as a result, like the originals, they too have gone on to flower, over and over again, for countless readers.

  • takhys thinks this article is crap

<Turner> 90 percent of anything is crap, says Ted Sturgeon.
<Turner> Modern corrolary: 90 percent of anything is on the internet.

Gay gay gay gay gay? Gay gay! Gay gay, gay, gay gay gay!

<Turner> … http://superdickery.com/seduction/76.html
<Terana> GAY CITY.
<Terana> GAY CITY.
<Terana> Ack.
<Turner> also, GAY CITY
<Terana> >_>
<Turner> there's TROUBLE in GAY CITY
<Terana> IRC, YOU HAVE FAILED ME
<Turner> That's Trouble with a capital T and that rhymes with B and that stands for
<Turner> anyway
<Terana> It's too dangerous… for a WOMAN.
<Terana> I mean, yes.
<Terana> Stupid irc.
<Turner> just- GAY CITY.
<Turner> it's like that one scene in Being John Malkovich
<key_to_me> B stands for Buttsecks.
<Turner> Gay city gay city gay city. gay city? gay city gay, city gay city.

Hours of fun!

<Turner> MOST IRONICALLY NAMED ACTION FIGURE EVER: http://www.entertainmentearth.com/prodinfo.asp?number+DC10783
<Turner> Uatu the Watcher action figure, now with, uhm, super-watching ability!
<Jillian> according to the blurb, I see he also FORSAKES!
<Jillian> and …. and ASSISTS!
<Turner> WE DO NOT SPEAK OF THE FORSAKING
<Jillian> … without interfering in Earth's development.
<Jeri> HAhahah what I like is "People who bought this also bought Tigger! :D!"

Sam: No :D

<Karra> Dear God, make me stop coughing: ^
<Karra> The only thing that would make that screencap more distressingly hilarious would be if Clippy were there.
<Jillian> XD
<Delepants> HAHAHAHAHA CLIPPY
<Delepants> SOMEONE PHOTOSHOP HIM IN
<Jeri> Oh Karra, Karra, you don't know what you're askin—-yes, that should occur shortly.
<Delepants> Hahahahahahaha
<Delepants> Clippy: :D LET ME HELP YOU :D
<Jeri> *HACKCOHGH** aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh
<Jillian> Now if only I can photoshop it so it's a picture of Clippy photoshopping himself in.

Poor JRM

<Jillian> I wonder if it hurts to look that INTENSE for entire photoshoots. http://community.livejournal.com/jrm_pictures/292233.html#cutid1
<Jillian> … but, I like his pants. :3
<Jeri> That expression?
<Jeri> Is because the sword is in his foot.
<Turner> I'm pretty sure his face stuck like that somewhere during the filming of alexander.

Turner has turned into Dumbledore.

<Jeri> sometimes, i wonder if ritual suicide is really all that outlandish of an option.
<Jeri> and often, it's after turner speaks.
<Turner> *twinkle*

Eiko Knows (Zombie Culture)

Eiko: you know what zombie culture is?
Eiko: T-VIRUS!
Eiko: THAT'S IT!
Bobo: EAT BRAINS
Bobo: then, once you've gone Crimsonhead,
Bobo: EAT PEOPLE

  • Eiko pulls on the helmet so as to not splatter the place with explodabrain

Bobo: then, once you've gone Licker,
Bobo: LICK PEOPLE
Bobo: daaaaangerously.
Eiko: what happens after you go Licker?
Turner: you never go back.
Eiko: …I know I am setting up a punchline and I do not care.
Bobo: serious question, Eiko?
Turner: I, myself, will not go licker.
Turner: After all, I don't even know 'er.
Eiko: well, I was sort of serious, but I expected a punchline ANYWAY.

Godwin? What Godwin? Have a cookie.

  • key_to_me will be up until like three making cookies. o_o for no reason.

<key_to_me> I'm like "SHIT UM I HAVE SUGAR FLOUR AND A STICK OF BUTTER WHAT CAN I MAKE"
<key_to_me> apparently the answer is "add a shitload of molasses and ginger and call it gingerbread cookies, bitch"
<Eiko> Mo Lasses!
<Terana> Mmm, butter.
<octopus> DX
<octopus> I do not like gingerbread much.
<key_to_me> …if it makes you feel better, it turns out we didn't have any ginger XD
<key_to_me> so there isn't actually any ginger in it
<key_to_me> there's cinnamon and clove and allspice and nutmeg, though :D
<key_to_me> so it will still be numnums
<Eiko> I remember playing Castle Wolfenstein 3D and wondering why Nazis would yell 'Allspice'.
<Jeri> O_o
<Eiko> it's apparently some other word
<Eiko> but the part of my brain that remembered which one is on vacation.
<key_to_me> Because nazis love baking, duh
<octopus> *LOL*
<key_to_me> Der Fuhrer used to make these darling pinwheel cookies
<key_to_me> Goebbels had the best pineapple upside-down cake recipe in the entire war
<Eiko> and Rommel's peach torte was the talk of the Sahara?
<key_to_me> …boy, that was a long way to go for a nazi joke
<Eiko> I'm so proud of you

This says volumes about the kind of media we choose to expose ourselves to

<Karra> heee! [http://i49.photobucket.com/albums/f260/hypercubed/CapsI/PDVD_009.jpg]
<Turner> THE CLOWN POLICE
<Karra> You have the right to remain ominously silent.
<Karra> Wait, that's mimes.

Snapple makes her own fun!

<Slarti> Mornin'
<Tindy[busybusy]> yo
<Snapple_working> I Slarti
<Snapple_working> Hi even
<Snapple_working> blarg
<Snapple_working> LOL I, Slarti
<Snapple_working> If you start glowing red I'm shooting your ass, so you know.

ZOMG SPOILERS

<the_abyss> HAHAHAHA
<the_abyss> Ariel, watching "Quills": "Wow, this is better than porn"
<Jeri> …has she gotten to the horrible death part?
<the_abyss> Shhhhh.

I'm the goddamn Dark Avenger

<Karra> Apparently the wb thought it was too dark for a second episode.
<Karra> ….
<Karra> The…oh my.
<Karra> I demand that they show what they filmed from this episode.
<Karra> "Angel is surrounded by six pimps, menacingly wielding baseball bats. Billy asks him "So… Curious John. What are you doing following me? Who are you?". After a beat Angel says "The Dark Avenger"."
<the_abyss> I'M BATMAN

You'd think we, BasementOOC, would know this one

<Karra> "And Kate, the police woman character on the show… originally was an undercover cop who was addicted to cocaine and was sleeping with men for sex, because she got a little bit too far into her undercover work."
<Turner> wut.
<Karra> sleeping with men FOR SEX.
<Turner> wow.
<the_abyss> as opposed to…?
<Willow_Kitten> Ooooh.
<the_abyss> brownie points?
<Turner> jello?
<Karra> candy!

Easy Financing, Available On the Down-Low

<Jeri> You have a boyfriend, ma'am
<Turkey> XD
<Jeri> You no longer qualify as a lesbian.
<Turkey> Hah! Point.
<Turner> you're officially a rent-to-own-bian

  • Turner has no idea what that means, but

Turner, hamsterguru

<DonRay> …..(goes bright red) GOD DAMN THAT NEIGHBOR KID. (closes all teh fucking curtains)
<Karra> ….peeping Tom?
<DonRay> I was SINGING. And I look over and there is this …this PIMPLEY FREAK STARING AT ME WITH HIS MOUTH WIDE OPEN.
<Turner> oh lawsie

  • Jillian would've thrown something in his mouth. … Like a hamster >_>

<Turner> Winston: I WILL NOT BE ELIMINATED SO EASILY, REPULSIVE YET SOMEHOW ESSENTIAL FOOD-DISTRIBUTOR!
<Jillian> XD
<Karra> Turner?
<Turner> I think I speak hamster pretty well.
<Turner> what.

Takh, …. Ron Perlman

Karra: Desperation is the one where the sheriff possessed by Tak kidnaps people off the highway and takes them to a mining town.
Karra: It is the one with the same characters as "The Regulators".
Turner: For clarification's sake: The sherrif possessed by Takh would kidnap people off the highway and show them photographs while whispering in their ears 'I love you'.
octopus: *lol*
Karra: Well, almost.
Karra: :D
su: TAKHYS LOVES YOU
Turner: that was unnecessary sir.
Karra: The Sheriff possessed by Takh, however, would not be played by Ron Perlman.
Turner: also I had totally not seen that one.
Turner: and the Sheriff possessed by Takh COULD BE played by Ron Perlman.
Lan: WAIT. Whut?

Let's never go to Mike's house

<Edison> cats are evil
<Greed> OH SHIT, THAT CAT JUST SUMMONED CTHULHU IN MY LIVING ROOM
<Edison> lol
<Edison> better you than me
<Gabriel> XD
<Greed> I just cleaned these fucking carpets.
<Turner> …damn cat.
<Greed> Ah well
<Greed> Wouldn't be the first time I've had to fumigate for gibbering horrors.

Fumigating for Gibbering Horrors, part deux (warning: contains Turnerpuns)

<Eiko> o/~ Pardon me boy, is that the way to Great Cthulhu! Boat to R'lyeh? It's goin' my way!
<Greed> Cthulhu is a douchbag.
<Greed> Motherfucker needs to get off his ass and get a job
<Greed> RENT, BITCH.
<Eiko> he's been dead for centuries.
<Eiko> he doesn't have any modern job skills.
<octopus> You gonna tell him that? I like having my brain intact, thanks.
<Greed> No excuses!
<Greed> Nobody eats my fried chicken.
<octopus> Is fried chicken worth losing your very SOUL over???
<Phoenix_Wright> XD
<Eiko> I just am not sure i want an eldritch horror asking me if I want fries with that.
<Greed> I HAVEN'T HAD MY SOUL FOR YEARS!

  • octopus uses her Orpheus handpuppet when she says this.

<Phoenix_Wright> In that case, he'll… GIVE IT BACK! MWA HA HA HA HA!
<Greed> That's the last time I advertise for roomates in old shanty towns who worship giant fish gods.

  • Turner snag's Pants' handpuppet's harp HAH HAH HAH

<Eiko> …great. just what we'd need, Badge.
<octopus> T_T
<Eiko> Then Buffy would show up, thinking that Mike is Angel.
<Eiko> And then THAT whiny-ass would show up.

  • Turner runs away with the thing and accidentally steps through a fireplace en route. Then he steals another harp.

<Turner> LYRE. LYRE.
<Turner> PANTS ON FIRE.
<octopus> Wrong Orpheus, sorry. Xp
<Eiko> and we'd end up having to shoot them all into space.
<Phoenix_Wright> AND IT'LL BE THE CRISIS ON MULTIPLE SUNNYDALES AGAIN MWA HA HA HA HA
<Slarti> Some friends of mine had once predicted that Cthulhu wearing an apron and offering a tray of fresh-baked cookies would be an automatic 100d100 SAN loss.
<Eiko> The First: "I want this Motherfucking BUFFY SUMMERS off my motherfucking plane of existance!!"

We Used to be Scary

  • MattOOC was intimidated by basement for the longest time.
  • Monk was, too.
  • Delepants makes a scaryface and pokes Matt with a stick.

<Turner> Whyy. I mean, sure, Basementeers eat babies.
<Turner> But not your babies.

  • MattOOC deflates

<octopus> *lol*

  • keynana eats your babies, I don't know what Turner's talking about.

Doing Fandoms Proud

<Tindy> it's Finding Nemo *slash*, not *chan*
<Snapple_working> Look, I'm part of the Harry Potter fandom - PEOPLE DON'T ALWAYS MAKE SUCH FINE DISTINCTIONS!

Takh comes when commanded?

  • Jillian changes topic to 'BasementOOC: For clarification's sake: The sheriff possessed by Takh would kidnap people off the highway and show them photographs while whispering in their ears 'I love you'.'
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<Jillian> :O
<takh> :o?
<Jillian> I JUST changed the topic
<Jillian> and you CAME
<Jillian> … here
<Jillian> you came here
<takh> HA.
<takh> I was going to say….

Terana, master chef

Terana: "At 7:46 ET on Tuesday morning, the United States will become a nation of 300 million people, the U.S. Census Bureau estimates." NOOOOOOOOOOO
Snapple: …qua?
Terana: People. Too many peeeople.
Snapple: They're all coming over for dinner, too.
Snapple: You're going to need a LOT of mashed potatoes.
Terana: Shit.
Snapple: ^_^
Bobo: No. Potatoes, Terana.
Terana: But they'll need gravy. >_>

"Blehlehlehlehlehlehlehleh"??

<Some> <Kurt> Ja. Which is the point. Are you…planning on rubbing your head on many things as Herr Osborn?
<octopus> Ock: *chases after Norman, trying to grab him and rub his hair*
<octopus> 8D
<Terana> Norman: ;_;
<octopus> Ock: XD C'mere, you! I want to touch your head!
<Terana> Norman: No. >:| *calls glider, hovers out of tentacle-range*
<octopus> Ock: 8(
<Lan> Hermes: NO TOUCHIE.
<octopus> Ock: …aww, I don't get to have any fun.
<Lan> Hermes: Don't rub Norman's head. B|
<Some> Hermes, he didn't mean that head. *RUNS*

  • octopus just wanted to noogie Norman Osborn in the most platonic way possible.
  • Lan cackles.

<octopus> Ock: Geeze, what do you take me for? Bullseye?
<Terana> Norman: Ix-nay on the Ullseye-bay. >_>
<octopus> Ock: *churlish giggle*
<Lan> Hermes: B|
<Terana> Norman: :\ It's just business.
<octopus> Ock: Suuure it is. Just like I kept Carolyn around simply because she was a computer whiz.
<Some> Angelina: You told me that IS why you kept her around.
<octopus> Ock: *flustered* Well, I didn't mind her appearance, either!
<octopus> Ock: However, unlike Miss Trainer, Bullseye is not a C cup.
<Some> No, but he apparently tastes good.
<Terana> Norman: Thank goodness. He uses every other part of his as a weapon, can you imagine…
<Terana> Norman: No. Comment.
<Slarti> Norman: blehlehlehlehlehlehlehleh
<Some> Every other part?
<Terana> Heh. Well, teeth, fingernails, etc.
<Terana> Imagine if he could lactate.
<octopus> Ock: I managed to survive being smothered by my mom as a child, I'm sure I could take him.
<Some> ….. Milky laser-nipples?

The joy of pets

<Tim_Drake> ……. thanks for that prolonged and noisy emission of gas, Winston.
<ExpressRay> XD
<Pyra_Trake> >XD
<Pyra_Trake> See?
<Pyra_Trake> I told you he was evil

  • Tim_Drake snort

<octopus> ….wow, the hamster farted? I've never heard the rats crack one off.
<octopus> Not that I'm jealous.

Slade: I'll take The Rapist for 400 please

  • Jillian sputters

<Jillian> http://www.titanstower.com/source/theater/casting.html
<Jillian> Tom. Cruise. As Nightwing. DX???
<Tsu[AFK]> …Lulz.
<Tsu[AFK]> Nightwing : LORD XEMU FOREVER. *throws up the horns*
<Jillian> AHAHAHAHAHA SEAN CONNERY AS DEATHSTROKE
<Boboo> Sean Co- yessh
<Boboo> deathshtroke

  • Jillian dies

<Boboo> Oh lord
<Boboo> the mouse-over picture for Deathshtroke.
<Jillian> fjlkdhfkjahfkjahahahahahah
<Tsu[AFK]> … XD
<Boboo> I'm going to call him Shlade now.
<Slarti> Shlade Wilshon

  • Jillian actually just squeaked with laughter

<Boboo> Wilshon. Shlade Wilshon.
<Boboo> Shut up, Roshe.
<Slarti> aka Deathshtroke

  • Jillian XD quit it

<Slarti> snork. *eyepatch*

This is what you miss in the mornings

<Bobo> HEYGUYS
<su> *lick*
<Bobo> :| Bob may only be licked by his boyfriend, su.
<su> D:

  • Bobo is now known as boboshower

What IS up Doc, anyways.

<Turner[working]> …aaand my brain scares me again
<Turner[working]> Someone is asking me about someone whose name is close to (though not precisely) martian_whoarz1256.
<Turner[working]> and in the back of my mind, MARVIN THE MARTIAN is saying 'Where is my eleudium U-236 intra-uterine device? That Earth creature has stolen my eleudium U-236 intra-uterine device. *sigh* De-lays, de-lays.'
<Terana> OW.
<Gwendy> AHAHAHA
<Turner[working]> painful, and funny.
<Turner[working]> my brain is the internet, apparently.

The Return of Wang

<Tindy>: Because Spidey is, like, the only person on the Nexus who can claim to kinda sorta know Doc ICly :D.
<Turner>: s'truth!
<Hats>: This is why we need a Wang
<Tindy>: also because Marvel people tend to have similar kinds of angst.
<Turner>: they were both, also, secrets that related to events Spidey was specifically involved in.
<Tindy>: …
<Turner>: Wong.
<Tindy>: HATS
<Tindy>: HATS
<Hats>: Wait, we have a Wang. We need a WONG.
<Tindy>: OH MY GOD.
<Tindy>: BEST FREUDIAN SLIP EVER.
<Bob>: I have a wang!
<Turner>: Heheheh
<Hats>: I MAKE THESE OFTEN! HOW HAVE YOU MISSED THEM?
<Tindy>: … Thank you, Bob.

Great Minds and Fools Alike

<Tindy>: OH TERANQ
<Tindy>: *TERANA
<Terana>: TINCY
<Terana>: *TINDY
<Tindy>: did you do that on purpose?
<Terana>: No.

Sure, Ock. We believe you.

<Turner[working]> You know, if anyone could find a way to regurgitate sarcasm…
<Turner[working]> …because GOD KNOWS
<Turner[working]> that Doc Ock swallows enough of it.
<Clair> … Don't make me think of Ock swallowing.
<Tindy_> augh
<Turner[working]> how else would he ingest nourishment.
<Turner[working]> freak.
<Clair> Because he already kissed Peter.
<Turner[working]> HE IS DOCTOR OCTOPUS, NOT DOCTOR SEA CUCUMBER.
<Turner[working]> HIS STOMACH HAS TO STAY INSIDE OF HIS BODY.
<octopus> Ock: No, I was making barfing sounds in a sarcastic manner, I wasn't actually…. THAT WAS THE KISS OF LIFE.

Crop Rotation

<Willow_Kitten> My mood lately given the government and shit would end in me going off on another rant that would end in Kym bludgeoning me with her laptop.
<Willow_Kitten> Hi Kym!
<Willow_Kitten> No, but I do have a thing for the nazi uniform. ;)
<kymscrazy> Why would I bludgeon you?
<Willow_Kitten> For government ranting.
<Snapple_jorb> Kym, I suggest you find something less precious than your laptop to bludgeon her with.
<Snapple_jorb> A pan or rolling pin will do, I imagine.
<Snapple_jorb> Or a riding crop. Fun for everyone!
<Turner[working]> I wasn't aware that he counted it as part of a trilogy- but I'm sure I've seen the other two.

  • Turner[working] turns the riding crop around.

<Turner[working]> I AM NOW MEDIEVAL. I HAVE INVENTED CROP ROTATION!
<kymscrazy> As I said, why would I bludgeon YOU?

Behold the Power of Fuck

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<Ellie> Oh god!
<Turner[working]> oooh, splitorama.
<Savvy_is_six> DANG
<Ellie> I swore and it happened!
<Turner[working]> I thought it was Xandir CHOOSING to kiss a boy.
<Ellie> XD It was the FUCKER!!!!
<Willow_Kitten> So you say it again?!?!?
<Ellie> Maybe it'll reverse? :D
<Turner[working]> maybe she can shock the net's system into desplitting?

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Get Well Soon, Said the Squid

<Hats> Yeah, well you wear spandex to bed!
<Hats> Wow, I can't do insults.
<Hats> And best card EVER, Eiko.
<tindybroom> that would be so uncomfortable
<Arabelle> It IS.
<Terana> ……Matt.
<Terana> Why do you —
<Terana> No.
<tindybroom> XD
<Terana> Nevermind.
<Steve> Don't ask.
<Arabelle> …I was agreeing with Hats
<Arabelle> D:

Not really, Jillian

<Turner[Working]> I start to fear that Frank Miller must be exposed to my Dick just for the sheer 'I MADE WHAT HAPPEN??? D: D: D:' of it.
<Jillian> hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha okay I'm sorry for my immaturity.

Oh, Bob

<twin> how r u bob.

  • Bobo has another mysteeeerious plot idea.
  • twin wonders how many tentacles and poison sacks this one has.

<Bobo> …actually, lots
<twin> i knew it.

Outer Gods are Bad, Mkay?

PaleStranger: Hastur: *turns up the dreamflavin until the knob snaps off* … crap.
Jeff[Library]: Jeff: *gibbers*
Badge: Nick: Damnit! ;_;
Nai[workish]: Soze: @_@
PaleStranger: Hastur: He's not emo any more… ^^;
Jeff[Library]: Jeff: *sees Azathoth, tears own eyes out* *_*
Jeff[Library]: (…sorry, Keyser.)
PaleStranger: Hastur: Ah… that was not supposed to happen….
Badge: Nick: WHAT DID YOU EXPECT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN. B|
PaleStranger: Hastur: NOT THAT.
Nai[workish]: Soze: THERE IS NO WAY YOU ARE NOT GETTING AN ELDER RING TO THE FACE AFTER THIS.
Nai[workish]: Soze: FIFTY TIMES.
Darksong: XDD
PaleStranger: Hastur: WHAT. HE VOIDED THE WARRANTEE. THERE IS NO AZATHOTH ON THE ITINERARY.
Carter[masked]: Carter: I CANNOT — TAKE YOU PEOPLE ANYWHERE, CAN I!?
PaleStranger: Hastur: *points at Soze* He started it. :<
Adora: XD
Jeff[Library]: Jeff: IT'S NOT LIKE I WAS PUTTING "GET CAUGHT IN THE FOURTH DEMENSIONAL GRAVITATIONAL PULL OF THE NUCLEAR CHAOS BEYOND ANGLED SPACE" ON MY TO DO LIST, OKAY?
PaleStranger: XD
Adora: <Carter> SIT DOWN — SHUT UP. OR I'M TURNING THIS NEXUS AROUND.
Jeff[Library]: Jeff: I CAN'T SIT DOWN BECAUSE I CAN'T FIND A GODDAMN CHAIR. NOW HELP ME FIND MY GODDAMN EYEBALLS.
Carter[masked]: Carter: Right. I'm — calling up Yog-Sothoth. We're … going home. After we find Jeff's eyeballs.
IvyMun: lmao
IvyMun: Best time to return ever
IvyMun: I love you all

NO CONTEXT

<Spidey> Will, I am beginning to regret having written you strap-on fic.

Context Is For the Weak

<Ariel> HAHAHA peeing blood

Arachnidae Gonadae?

<kymscrazy> Crotch spiders kill the room.
<Turner> Isn't that always the way of it.

That and, uhm, other things, honey.

<Lan> Yeah, that's what makes it stranger than any sort of fish-based porn.

Best Walk In Lines … Ever

THIS IS SOMEONE ELSE'S WALK-IN LINE, FROM SOMEWHERE ELSE. But this is the kind of hell we are looking to see in this section, sirs and madams.

anamexis: oh man
anamexis: I was opening a coke, right
Beefpile (~moc.rr.iw.dekaolc|elipfeebm#moc.rr.iw.dekaolc|elipfeebm) has joined #themacmind
anamexis: and it exploded
anamexis: ALMOST all over my keyboard
anamexis: but I got it away just in time
Beefpile has quit (sick fuckers)
anamexis: :<

What the fuck, you say? Well, sir, sometimes people log into #basementooc at inopportune conversational moments. And they are treated to the OUT OF CONTEXT amazingness that is our channel at its best. See below!

Someone is going to kick us out of the X-men fandom

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Ariel: BIG GAY ORGY
Jillian: John: I thought i had a long tongue >:|
Ariel: HELLO DELE XD
Jillian: DELE HAHA HI
Delepants: …XD Hi there

I believe the word Eskimo, underlined all by itself, is the key to understanding Heather's pain.

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key_in_basement: ((I'm pretty sure you could search for "eskimo" and get gay harry potter fanart, dude))

Don't tell me you can't see him saying that

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<Greg_Sanders> EAT YOUR PENISCAKE YOU NEED IT FOR ENERGY.

We love the gay!

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<key_to_me> MILDLY IS AN UNDERSTATEMENT, GREG THIS IS A SHOWDOWN OF THE EFFEMINATE GAYWADS HERE TONIGHT

This here is classic, sir.

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<JPs_penis> :)

Admit it, you can see him saying this too

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<Greg_Sanders> Whups, my bad. Want me to blow you?

Key is a free spirit

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<key_to_me> Well if you wanna be sucking out people's souls through their wangs, go right ahead.

We're all close and friendly, too

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<Dawnie> What's up your butt, Pietro?

Cheek-Chilling Chenanigans

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<takhys> RAWR
<Slarti> I'd like to think that in that situation, assuming you've managed to get the matter taken to court before being given the enema, you'd be asked if you really wanted it, and when you said no, the law would invalidate the whole contract, at which point you'd have to give back whatever you got out of the contract.
<Bobo> TAKH
<Slarti> galen: Yes, perhaps, but that's a separate issue.
<Bobo> TAKH WE'RE TALKING ABOUT LIQUID NITROGEN ENEMAS IN A LEGAL CONTEXT
<takhys> …
<Karraafk> I'm not sure you can legally bind yourself to have liquid nitrogen or whatever shoved up your ass….

That's Jeri's petname for me

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<Jeri> "what the fuck, spanish ass"
<Jeri> ………>.> hi there matt

Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice…

<Turner> oh god now you've invoked him

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We love Bob; and oh, ye Slarti of little faith

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<Kaa> of course! I'll have sex with the new animatronic dinosaurs.
<Slarti> …Did you say that just for being disturbing in the light of my arrival, or was there a conversation previous to that?

We are too, Karra. We are too.

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<Turner> are you entirely certain that's not some antiquated milk delivery system? because I don't think a lightbulb-shaped enema nozzle is a good idea.
<Karra> ….
<Karra> I'm /sorry/?

IT BRINGS YOU PERSONAL HYGIENE TIPS

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<Cuttle_Lan> Remember kids, Draino for the sink, Lysol for your cooter.
<Isolde> Best walk in line EVER.
<Terana> Yes.
<Scruff> XDDD
<Turkey> TODD
<Turkey> :D!
<JWilson> *cough*
<Ellie> TODD!
<Terana> Todd, you lucky bastard.
<Eiko> HI TODD
<Scruff> Lysol for the pink, Draino for the sink.
<Isolde> TODD HELLO TODD PAY ATTENTION TO ME TODD
<Terana> Now, hold still while I get the lysol.

Dele takes the fall (Buttmakeouts)

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Delepants: I was still on "buttmakeouts" and just thought "Well it would be, wouldn't it?" but then I realised.

Icthyophilia: it's what's for breakfast

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Wayne: Lusca: No fish-fucking.
Slarti: No idea.
Turner[working]: rats.
Turner[working]: maybe one killed his mother.
Clair: …. what?

Spooge, it does the body good!

<Bobo> Do we have Spooge Credentials on the annoying Ada?

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<Turner> …'spooge credentials' what?
<EBB|Lurks> Hi Shini :3
<shini> what a thing to walk in on

superboy + steelwang????

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<Snapplzzzz> <3
<Georik> now I wonder what Kryptonian puberty is like
<EBB> Night X3
<keynana> …well that's a hell of a line to walk in on
<octopus> DX

my teenagerhood was raped by a sparkly pink WHORE

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Seras: I mean, yea - they could probably BS "Pregnant man dream" but STILL - it's Dream
Turner: with a penis, obviously.
Twin: …

WE KNOW ALREADY

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Olfried: Fuck, I gotta go
Slarti: HI MY NAME IS GRANT! I TAKE DRUGS AND THEN WRITE COMICS ABOUT CHARACTERS TAKING DRUGS AND LEARNING THEY'RE IN A COMIC!

But it goes so well with the homoerotic themes of 300!

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Mattybee: Apparently su can't appreciate the beauty that is circumseppuku.
Mattybee: …god DAMN Tsu, you have a habit of coming in on the most inappropriate lines, don't you?
Kassy: This is madness!
Kassy: THIS IS CIRCUMSEPPUKU!
deconcentrate: He's AFK, he can't hear you!
Mattybee: THIS IS ICE CREAM SCOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP
Kassy: THIS ICE CREAM IS DELICIOUS!
Mattybee: IT TASTES LIKE FORESKIN :(

Parallel Evolution

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<Turner> Lusca: What are you, retarded? I'M THE GODDAMNED BATSQUID.

Lessons in Botany

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<izzyryu> If Isley'd grabbed a flower, *then* he'd be eating Jeff's weenis.
<Horrible> And his vageenis.
<Horrible> And his *womb*.
<custardpringle> …
<izzyryu> Jeff: I HAVE A WOMB?
<custardpringle> What is. I.

  • custardpringle gives up and falls over.

These things have to be pointed out, you know.

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Mattybee: I'M NOT SURE IF YOU NOTICED, BUT YOU HAVE A MUSHROOM FOR A PENIS

Oh, fanfic.

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Kassywarks: My response: "….are you writing historical RPS mpreg?"
Kassywarks: (o hai, Matty)

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